At Cafe France
by TheEmberGirl
Summary: Eighteen nations trapped in a basement. What is going on? What is going to happen? (My Valentine's Day fic for 2014)(multiple ships)


**A/N**

**Even though I hate Valentine's Day in real life, it's a different story in the fictional world. This fic (mostly cracky fluff) is dedicated to all the reader of eclipsed flower and I's Hetalia/Hunger Games crossover **_**May the Odds be in Favour of the Fallen**_**. ****I'm sorry about, well, ****being dead yesterday and hope that you ship at least one of the pairings in this fic. I don't actually ship some of these pairings and have just chosen some of the most popular ships from the fandom, some that worked for this fic and my OTPs (some of which are actually popular).**

**Either way, enough rambling from me...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia**

* * *

CLICK!  
Eighteen kidnapped nations blinked as the lights suddenly switched on.  
...To reveal France.  
'Bonjour,' France said with a disconcertingly big smile. 'Welcome to Cafe France! I have brought all of you here with your significant other so you can enjoy a lovely Valentine's Day date. Or if you're in denial at the person sitting across from you, today can be a total nightmare until you admit your love.'  
A few of the eighteen, or rather seventeen kidnapped nations and one conspirator, glared at France (and each other). While Spain cheerfully said:  
'I knew this was a good idea, France!'  
'Wait, you knew about this, Tomato Bastard?' A furious looking Romano asked.  
'Yep~,' Spain replied in the same cheery tone.  
SMACK  
That was the sound of Romano's palm connecting with Spain's face. Followed by a scream of:  
'I hate you!'  
A few tables away, Germany winced. He felt sorry for Spain, having been on the receiving end of Romano's ire several times himself.  
Once that bit of drama was over, France gave a dramatic flourish.  
'Well I'm off to the kitchen now, after all I am your waiter for today.' He was just about to open the door when-  
'Wait you bloody frog, let me out, I'm here by mistake, I don't have a significant other, least of all him.' England said, gesturing at America.  
'Yeah Wine Bastard, I don't know why I'm here either. Let me out!'  
'I'm sorry,' France said, not looking particularly sorry at all. 'But nobody's here by mistake. As I said before, either confess your secret feelings or have a nightmarish Valentine's Day. Your choice.' With that France gave a little shrug and disappeared out the door before anyone could even blink.  
Chaos broke out immediately.

**~o~**

Over at table two, England had deduced with his spy skills that they were in a basement somewhere and there was no way out apart from that one door. So he settled on insulting America instead.  
'I honestly have no idea why that frog would think an idiot like you could be my "significant other".'  
'I'm the Hero!'  
'...'

**~o~**

At the other end of the basement-umm cafe-at table nine, Romano had given up on glaring at an impervious Spain in favour of threatening Germany.  
'Hey Potato Bastard! Stay away from my brother!'  
'But fratello-'  
'Shut up! I wasn't talking to you!'

**~o~**

On table four China cringed while Russia kept his disconcerting gaze on him.  
'Become one with Russia, da? ^J^'  
'No, aru!'

**~o~**

Meanwhile on table one Vietnam tried to ignore Thailand grinning at her with that adorably-_wait what!?-_annoying smile.  
'Do you want me to smack you with my rice paddle?'  
'What? I'm just thinking about my pet elephant.'  
'You're impossible.'

**~o~**

And on table nine, Austria began to complain to Hungary just as France came back into the room with a trolley of plates.  
'How can France even call this romantic, with all these uncivilised people here. We should be at my house with the piano.'  
'Don't worry darling, I'm sure we can try to ignore them all.' Hungary replied while her fingers inched towards the camera she kept on her at all times.

**~o~**

'Ladies and gentlemen, breakfast is served!' France called, interrupting all the conversation (and arguments). 'Are you hungry?'  
The nations' stomachs-all realising they had, indeed, not been filled for quite some time-rumbled in reply.

**~o~**

As France handed out the plate and removed the covers, Hungary sighed and replaced her camera. Damn that would have been such a good shot of the sexual tension between England and America.  
France finished handing out the drinks and surveyed the room, praising himself for coming up with such a wonderful plan while watching Germany at table three turn bright red as Italy fed him a forkful of scrambled eggs. However the plan was not quite working; tables one,two, four and nine were refusing to cooperate.  
_Ohonhonhonhonhonhon~, try as they might love cannot be denied._ France thought as he walked towards the first uncooperative table.  
However a scuffle at table two distracted him.  
'Bloody hell! This is _French_ toast!' England exclaimed, shoving his plate away from him. America shrugged, grabbed the offending slices of toast off England's plate and stuff them into his mouth as well.  
'That's was disgusting! And what am I going to eat now?'  
Another shrug.  
England look as though he was about to hit America when France decide to intervene.  
'How lovely, sharing food. Oh look your plates are empty, would you like seconds?'  
'Yes please!'  
'You idiot! It'd be your third, you ate mine!'  
'Anything else?'  
'Yes...Don't you serve any good English tea here!'  
France hid a grimace.  
'I'll see what I can do.'

**~o~**

On the next table down; table five. Finland looked rather wistful.  
'That was nice, I but really wish there had been some surströmming.'  
'W' c'n h've s'me wh'n w' g' h'me, m' w'fe.'  
'Didn't we run out?'  
'I m'de s'me l'st n'ght, f'r y'u.'  
'Thank you.'  
As France came back with table two's orders, his spidey senses tingled and he turned his head to see Finland peck Sweden on the cheek. First kiss of the day!

Next (previous, whatever) problem table; table one.  
'Your glass is empty, would you like me to pour you some more Vietnamese coffee?'  
'I'm not a helpless little girl, I can do it myself.'  
'That's alright.'  
Vietnam glared at him, that grin was so annoying (adorable-no what!?), and so was France (just the annoying part that is). Speaking of the devil.  
'Ah, lovely Vietnam. So good to see you've moved on from me.'  
'Moved on from you?_ I hated you._'  
'That may be so, but you certainly have feeling for the handsome man sitting across from you, no? I know all about _l'amour_.'  
CRACK  
Vietnam had hit France over the head with her rice paddle.  
'Creep! And what are _you_ still grinning at?'  
You're so pretty when you're angry.'  
'Are you asking for a paddling as well?'

**~o~**

Nursing his head France had no choice but move one to another table. _I'll be back later._  
At table seven Poland had just finished his breakfast, after stealing some of Lithuania of course.  
'Now what was I saying before we started eating? Oh right, this place is like, totally not fabulous enough. There's like no windows, and like totally not pink enough. Also did I like, ever mention to you that your hair is like so pretty. It's not as fabulous as like mine, but it's totally pretty.'  
'Umm thanks?'  
'You totally have to like let me style it someday. It'd be fabulous.'  
'Err.'

**~o~**

France was at the quietest table in the basement-cafe, where Russia and China were eating their breakfast. Or rather Russia was eating and China nervously pushing food around his plate.  
'Don't you like your food China?'  
This caught Russia's attention.  
'China doesn't like his food? Why didn't you say so? Here have some of mine ^J^' he proffered a forkful of vodka soaked pancakes at China, who ate it after a moment's hesitation.  
'I just gave China a secondhand kiss!' Russia exclaimed gleefully. 'Now he'll become one with me, da?'

**~o~**

BANG  
something smashed against the floor at the back of the room.  
'I better go check on that...' France was glad to have an excuse to leave the aura emitting Russia behind.  
The loud noise turned out to have originated from table nine, where Romano had thrown the glass of tomato juice Spain offered him a sip with to the ground.  
'Leave me alone you stupid Tomato Bastard!'  
France winced and went to clean up the glass, taking this opportunity to whisper to Spain:  
'He'll come around by the end of the day.'  
'Really? I knew that!'  
'Knew what?' Romano asked suspiciously.  
'Nothing~ Just talking to myself.'  
'Weirdo.'

**~o~**

Close by, on table seven, Greece and Japan were also finishing their breakfasts.  
'I like cats, and sleep. Do you want to take a nap with me and the cats?'  
'Maybe after France lets us out.'  
'Do you want me to tell you one of my mother's old stories then?'  
'Yes, please do.'

**~o~**

Back at table two, England suddenly thought up an ingenious plan of escape.  
'Hey, Frog-face! You can't keep us in here without a toilet.'  
'Who said I was keeping you here without a toilet,' France retorted pointing at a previously unseen door at the back of the room.  
'Aaah, that looks so scary! Germany come with me!' Italy cried, dragging a blushing Germany towards the toilet door. Hungary smiled victoriously and took a sneaky photo.  
'Did someone just take a photo of me? It must have been France...'  
'You must have imagined it, dear. If it was France I would have hit him with my frying pan already. Hmm you have chocolate on your mouth, here let me clean it off.'  
France grinned, another kiss. Though they all seemed to be between the 'married couples', he was sure there'd be more soon.

**~o~**

After everyone had gone to the toilet (not together of course) and chatted among themselves (or rather those comfortable with the person across from them chatted while the others sat in silence and insults flew from table nine to table three). France finally came through the door (no not the toilet door!) with another trolley laden with food and lunch was served.  
Lunch was relatively successful, relatively, sensing the mood France had decided to serve everyone's favourite foods rather than force England to eat his own finer cuisine.

**~o~**

Table one was a cause for concern, as Vietnam looked to be on the urge of losing her temper.  
'Would like some pad Thai?'  
'No, I'm perfectly happy with my phó.'  
'Are you sure?'  
'I already said _no_. And stop giving me that ad-annoying grin.'

**~o~**

As was table two.  
'Mmm-burger mmm-esh mmm-my.'  
'Could you please eat with your mouth shut, it's really putting me off my fish and chips.'  
'Mmm-my chips.'  
'Don't steal my chips! I'm really going to need more ale.'

Hearing that, France quickly switched England's ale with apple juice, lest anything happen after last time.

**~o~**

Table three was predictably in a better mood than the previous two. With Italy humming happily while eating his favourite food-pasta-and occasionally feeding a forkful to Germany before snitching some of the latter's potatoes.

**~o~**

Table four was another matter altogether.  
'No-no, stop giving me "secondhand kisses", aru. I quite like my noodles, aru.  
'Does China hate me?'  
'_What? _No, aru. I-'  
'Yay! China loves me! ^J^'

**~o~**

Shivering slightly France moved on to table five, where Sweden was making sure his wife was happy.  
'M' w'fe, d' y'u l'ke th' f'sh?'  
'Of course I do, France is a good cook. Not as great as you though.'  
'Th'nk y'u.'  
Cue hand holding, and happy smiles from three nations.

**~o~**

Table six was peaceful as well.  
'Want to swap your sashimi for my moussaka?'  
'Sure.'  
'This is very nice.'  
'Thank you, Greece-san. The moussaka is nice too.'

**~o~**

Table seven, was rather chaotic, but in a good way. Poland was somehow able to eat his lunch at the same time as braiding Lithuania's hair.  
'See it like looks absolutely fabulous now, pretty, and fabulous!'  
_'Mmmhmm..._' Lithuania contentedly put another spoonful of food into his mouth while relishing the feel of Poland's gentle hands in his hair.  
'...now if I like had some flowers it'd be fabulously pretty.'

**~o~**

Table eight was a lot more formal, as was to be expected of a table with Austria on it.  
'Your plate of goulash looks delicious. You should come over more often; I've missed your cooking.  
'Of course dear.'

**~o~**

To say that table nine was a storm in a teacup would be an understatement; more like a tempest or hurricane. Spain and Romano were both eating plates of tomato salad, you'd thought that'd keep Romano calm, but that was not the case.  
'_Buenos tomatoes~ Buenos tomatoes~ Buenos tomatoes~_' Spain sang under his breath between bites.  
'Shut up, Tomato Bastard! _I can't even eat in peace!_'  
'Your face is red like a tomato, it's so cute!'  
'_Shut up!_'

**~o~**

Having finished her lunch, (without a single swap with Thailand) it was Vietnam's turn to think of an escape plan.  
'Now that's lunch is finished, what do we do until dinner?' She called out to France. 'Sitting around in a basement isn't very _romantic_.' She continued, the last word dripping with sarcasm.'  
Unfortunately France had not thought of that, fortunately he didn't have to, as Italy suddenly called out from his seat:  
'Big Brother France, we should have a siesta!'  
'That's exactly what I was going to say, why else do you think I set up the cafe with Bed-tables*?' He said as he clicked the button activating the Bed-tables.  
_(*Bed-tables: a kind of table that turns into a bed at the touch of a button, copyright Big Brother France)_  
Poland who'd somehow procured a bunch of bright pink flowers from somewhere and was threading them through Lithuania's hair, just about squealed in delight.  
'This is going be just like old times! Do you remember the Commonwealth days, when we used to sleep together in meadows all the time! Like. Totally. Fabulous.'  
'Yeah, those days were nice...' Lithuania trailed off dreamily. Poland bounced onto the bed and pulled Lithuania after him.  
'I really wish I'd brought my nail polish, pink of course. It'd have been so much fun.'

**~o~**

'I h'pe y'u 're c'mf'rt'ble.'  
'I am, and if I'm not I can always lean on you.'  
''F c'rse.'

**~o~**

'I'd much rather play my piano than sleep in public.'  
'Shush dear, you have me.'  
'True and we can always ignore the others.'  
'Exactly.' Once again Hungary's fingers moved towards her camera.

**~o~**

Italy too had procured a bunch of daisies and was weaving them into a crown.  
'Weren't you going to take a siesta?' Germany asked looking up from his book.  
'I am, after I finish making this.'  
The daisies were soon joined by cornflowers, and before long Italy was wearing the crown while staring thoughtfully at the leftover flowers.  
'Hmm...'  
A few minutes later, Germany was distracted from his reading due to the fact that Italy had put a similar crown on his head.  
'What-?'  
'Don't take it off, it's so pretty!'  
'Okay then.'  
'I'm going to sleep now!'  
True to his word Italy was snoring in a few moments, Germany chuckled and returned to reading his book.

**~o~**

Vietnam was not happy with this arrangement, but there wasn't a thing she could do about it.  
'You'd better not lay a _single_ finger on me, or else I'll-'  
'Hit me with your rice paddle?' Thailand asked, still smiling.  
'_Exactly_.' Vietnam replied, forcing herself not to return the smile. What was happening to her?

**~o~**

'Where does the Frog get all these terrible ideas from?'  
'Oh cheer up, aren't you happy you get to sleep with the hero?'  
'_Not the way you make it sound..._'

**~o~**

'China is so cute, like a teddy bear!'  
'What...?' Before China had time to react, Russia had bear hugged him and pulled him onto the Bed-table.  
'_Guān Yīn save me..._'

**~o~**

Greece was already asleep, and Japan lay on his back beside him.  
'It seems we do get to take a nap after all.' He said despite knowing that the cat-loving nation couldn't hear him. Or could he?  
'Sleep...good...cats...good...'Greece mumbled and a fond smile crept over Japan's face.

**~o~**

Spain smiled, Romano, despite having complained then calling Spain a creep, had fallen asleep then snuggled up to him. Ah, just like old times.

**~o~**

Once again Germany's reading was interrupted, but he really wasn't surprised, having gotten used to how Italy always ended up sprawled over him whenever they went to sleep.

**~o~**

Despite his best attempts to sleep, Poland just couldn't. So he settled on tracing patterns on a sleepy Lithuania's back.  
'Does that feels nice?'  
'Mmmhmm.'

**~o~**

America was surprised at how quickly England fell asleep, must have been all the ale he was drinking earlier. Oh well there was nothing he could do now but go to sleep himself, subconsciously his arm drifted around England...

**~o~**

China was still trapped in Russia's embrace, but now that Russia was asleep there was no way to talk him into releasing him. _He isn't as cold as I thought, maybe this isn't so bad._ China leant back wearily and closed his eyes. _This was actually quite comfortable..._

**~o~**

Curled up against each other, Finland and Sweden slept with content smiles on their faces.

**~o~**

After listening to Greece's soft breathing, Japan had dozed off as well.

**~o~**

Thailand was surprised to feel Vietnam's hand reach for his, but had not hesitation in holding it. After all, if she'd really meant to hit him, she'd done it ages ago.

**~o~**

Hungary felt like the cat who'd gotten the cream, she had so many photos, including Italy and Germany wearing flower crowns and many other photos of various couples sleeping. Beginning to feel a little tired now, she looked at her ex-husband saw he'd forgotten to take off his glasses before he fell asleep. Hungary gently removed Austria's glasses before giving him another kiss and lying down next to him.

**~o~**

England was slightly annoyed to wake up with America's arm wrapped around him, but soon decided he didn't care. _Can't let that idiot know that though._

**~o~**_  
_

France's spidey senses tingled again, as a sleepy Germany has just kissed the top of Italy's head.

**~o~**

Vietnam woke up and immediately retracted her hand, furious at her subconscious mind for its lack of self-control. _Stupid Thailand and his stupid adorable smile._

**~o~**

Russia was pleased to find China had fallen asleep, and rather than go back to sleep, he decided to stay awake and observe China.

**~o~**

Somehow, during all the back rubbing and stories about the glory days of the Polish Commonwealth, Poland had fallen asleep. Lithuania was about to pull the flowers from his hair, then stopped, after all, Poland had spent a lot of time putting them in.

**~o~**

Finland awoke to see Sweden watching him like he'd done all those years ago.  
'M' w'fe?'  
This time, instead of flinching away, Finland giggled and kissed Sweden on the nose.

**~o~**

Italy woke up to find that Germany had fallen asleep on his book, knowing who paranoid the other nation was about drooling on books, Italy gently pulled it away before straightening the slightly crooked flower crown.

**~o~**

France pushed a large buffet table of food from around the world into the basement.  
'Alright sleepyheads, time to wake up and have some lovely dinner!'  
There were a lot of groans (and some swearing) as the nations still sleeping were rudely awakened.  
While France switched all the beds back into tables, he watched as everyone filled their plates.

'Veee, Germany. I'll grab some of my favourite pasta and your favourite foods as well.'…

'Get whatever you want...just no burgers!'

'This food should totally be more pink.

'China would like to try some of my vodka and borsch, da?'

'I can get my own food, Tomato Bastard! (Thank you anyway.)'

France knew he had to thank Italy for the siesta idea as everyone had become more civilised to each other. Walking around topping up drinks, his spidey senses went into overdrive, mostly due to tables three, five, eight and surprise surprise; four.

**~o~**

Dessert was sweet as well, with the couples at the spidey sense inducing tables feeding each other as well as table seven and although one sided and grudging; nine.

**~o~**

Midnight, the time for confessions of love. France became anxious when nothing happened, surely someone had to say something. He was about to give up hope when...  
'Veee, Germany!'  
'Hmm?'  
'Ti amo.'  
'I-ich liebe dich.'

And everyone else followed suit.  
'C̄hạn rạk khuṇ.'  
'I don't hate you.'  
Thailand spotted the glint in Vietnam's eyes.  
'Come on, there's more than that!'  
'Don't push it now.'  
_Definitely more than that._

At table seven  
'Kocham cię.'  
'Aš tave myliu.'  
'Since the Polish Commonwealth?'  
'...Yeah...'

At table five  
'Jag älskar dig.'  
'Rakastan sinua.'

At table eight  
'Ich liebe dich.'  
Hungary tore her eyes away from the other couples.  
'Szeretlek too dear, I've been thinking we should get married again...'

At table two  
'I love you?'  
'I love you too...That was just to get France to leave us alone, _understand? Nothing more!_  
'Sure...'

Table nine  
'Te amo~'  
'I hate you! ..._Ti amo.'_

At table seven  
'YA lyublyu tebya, become one with me, da? ^J^'  
'Wǒ āi-_wait I need time to think about this, aru!'_

At table six

'S 'agapó.'

'Watashi wa anata o aishite.'

**~o~**

After releasing all the other nations, France went into kitchen to congratulate the cook.  
'That was lovely food you made today, my dear...want to join me upstairs now?'  
Seychelles pretended to look affronted.'  
'We'll see.'  
'_Ohonhonhonhonhon~_'

**~o~**

**Omake**  
The next morning France received a text from Spain, it read:  
"Mi Amigo, we forgot about Prussia!"

* * *

**Thank you for reading!  
Just for clarification; Guan Yin is the Taoist Goddess of Mercy.  
France was going to say more French, but I didn't want butcher any more languages than I have to.  
While on that same subject, I'm sorry if Google Translate didn't get 'I love you' in any language right, the only ones I actually, legitimately, know how to say that in are; English (duh), Chinese (Cantonese _and_ Mandarin, ;P), and Indonesian (which doesn't help).  
****If you spot any spelling/grammar mistakes, it was possibly due to my iPod autocorrect. **

**Hope you enjoyed.**

**Happy Valentine's Day!**

**~Ember out**

**(reviews are appreciated)**


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